.
For today's 'Succintly Yours' prompt, I've written two pieces...one semi-serious, one simply silly!
.
.
She watched him watch the world; she always the onlooker, he seeing only what his lens allowed. Enough.
“Picture this, then!” she said, walking out of his life for good.
.
(140 characters)
.
.
and
.
Myopic, mad and mildly morose, Morris missed by miles the many
moves Marcy made to merge more merriment into the meagerly
mundane. Magic made no mark on this man’s mind!
.
(140 characters)
.
For more microfiction in 140 characters or words, pop by Grandma's Goulash and enjoy the feast!
18 comments:
Enjoyed both - especially the second.
Ho, these are both very droll. Clever girl!
The second certainly made a mark on my mind. How clever!
My SY: Tempting View
Excellent, Lynette. Your talents show up well in a total of 280 characters!
— K
Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel
I love both, and photo as well - you've made me miss the sea!
Have a nice week:)
Both were good, but I really liked the second one. First one was funnier.
The first is similar to one of mine. The second is absolutely awesome alliteration!! :)
I thought it was kind of sad, like she felt she had to compete with his passion for photography and became fed up. I loved the alliteration!
Love the snap of direction in the first micro and the rock and rolling of the second! Very clever!
You're good at these! There were a lot of similar takes tonight, and by the women in our group...hmm...makes one stop and think now doesn't it? LOL! (BTW, the second is just as good if not better!)
Two for one - twice the fun! I liked both of these--laughed at the end of the first one and I was impressed with your alliteration in the second one, with 70% of the words starting with "m!" Yes, 21 out of 30 were "m" words. You are a poet and I am a nerd.
I too liked them both. Each had a thick headed man who was missing the love of his life.
Your first reminded me of a buddy I once had. We had a modified stock racing car, a Ford. One day his wife came out of the house with a suitcase.
My friend asked her where she was headed. She said it was over, 'goodbye'. He tried to make amends but really didn't know the whole story.
Then she told him, she said "You love this d***ed car more than you love me. I am leaving you."
..
'Ouch!' to the first one - can't help thinking he got what he deserved.
The second is a masterpiece of alliteration - well done:-)
Since most of us saw what you saw in the first one, I celebrate the originality of the second. But the first one is really good.
Both of yours are outstanding microfictiony stab-at-its! BRAVO! I especially like the words no photographer wants to hear: "Picture this, then!”
Could this be Arnold & Maria?
The second one is magnificent!!
:)
Love them both! :) So fun what you can do with photos!
Both are excellent!
Mad Kane
Post a Comment