Monday, May 16, 2011

Succintly yours: By The Sea

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For today's 'Succintly Yours' prompt, I've written two pieces...one semi-serious, one simply silly!
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She watched him watch the world; she always the onlooker, he seeing only what his lens allowed. Enough.

“Picture this, then!” she said, walking out of his life for good.
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(140 characters)
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and
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Myopic, mad and mildly morose, Morris missed by miles the many

moves Marcy made to merge more merriment into the meagerly

mundane. Magic made no mark on this man’s mind!
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(140 characters)
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For more microfiction in 140 characters or words, pop by Grandma's Goulash and enjoy the feast!

18 comments:

anthonynorth said...

Enjoyed both - especially the second.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Ho, these are both very droll. Clever girl!

Grandma's Goulash said...

The second certainly made a mark on my mind. How clever!

My SY: Tempting View

Kay L. Davies said...

Excellent, Lynette. Your talents show up well in a total of 280 characters!
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

joo said...

I love both, and photo as well - you've made me miss the sea!
Have a nice week:)

storytreasury said...

Both were good, but I really liked the second one. First one was funnier.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

The first is similar to one of mine. The second is absolutely awesome alliteration!! :)

♥~Judy~♥ said...

I thought it was kind of sad, like she felt she had to compete with his passion for photography and became fed up. I loved the alliteration!

Greyscale Territory said...

Love the snap of direction in the first micro and the rock and rolling of the second! Very clever!

Susan Fobes said...

You're good at these! There were a lot of similar takes tonight, and by the women in our group...hmm...makes one stop and think now doesn't it? LOL! (BTW, the second is just as good if not better!)

Pat said...

Two for one - twice the fun! I liked both of these--laughed at the end of the first one and I was impressed with your alliteration in the second one, with 70% of the words starting with "m!" Yes, 21 out of 30 were "m" words. You are a poet and I am a nerd.

Jim said...

I too liked them both. Each had a thick headed man who was missing the love of his life.

Your first reminded me of a buddy I once had. We had a modified stock racing car, a Ford. One day his wife came out of the house with a suitcase.
My friend asked her where she was headed. She said it was over, 'goodbye'. He tried to make amends but really didn't know the whole story.
Then she told him, she said "You love this d***ed car more than you love me. I am leaving you."
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jabblog said...

'Ouch!' to the first one - can't help thinking he got what he deserved.
The second is a masterpiece of alliteration - well done:-)

Sharkbytes (TM) said...

Since most of us saw what you saw in the first one, I celebrate the originality of the second. But the first one is really good.

SparkleFarkle said...

Both of yours are outstanding microfictiony stab-at-its! BRAVO! I especially like the words no photographer wants to hear: "Picture this, then!”

Pooch said...

Could this be Arnold & Maria?

The second one is magnificent!!

:)

adrielleroyale said...

Love them both! :) So fun what you can do with photos!

Mad Kane said...

Both are excellent!
Mad Kane